Hello everyone!!
I am sorry that I haven't written in awhile. I can't believe we are already two weeks into the new year. I would love to tell you that I have been so busy that I just haven't had time to write, but that would not be truthful. I have been going through a funk and have had a little bit of writers block. But I have been praying about what to write and praying for some rays of hope to fill my spirit so I can continue to help others. One of the reasons why I picked Psalm 126:5-6 to have as my main verse is because of what it says, "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." This verse has helped me to find hope in the times that I battle with my sorrow.
Another contributor of my mood is because of Indiana weather. Since I was a teenager I can tell you that I have always naturally struggled during January. I really never figured out if it is because December is so busy with friends and family and celebrations and then January everyone starts to hibernate because of the weather. January in Indiana can be dark, gloomy, cold, snowy, and just plain depressing for me. I have never been a winter person, I don't even remember going outside as a child and making snowmen or having snowball fights. I love the sunshine and the warmth that washes over me. The sun makes me happy and fills me with energy and happiness.
I was dreading January of 2012. It was the first winter and January after Kirk went home to heaven. I won't lie to you, I was scared of that month. I was afraid of what the weather would be, I was afraid of being trapped in my house due to snow, cold and ice. And I was just plain afraid of depression that was going to sneak in on me because that January was different. It was the FIRST January without Kirk. I am happy to report that the weather here that winter was unseasonably warm. The sun was out quite a bit and I think the snowfall for that winter was one of the lowest that we have on record. God was so good to me. He heard my prayers and knew my fears and blessed me with a mild January and winter. At one of my lunch meetings with my church counselor she even committed on how God had blessed me with the winter weather. Psalm 118:21 NIV says, "I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation." I will tell you I definitely gave God all the thanks and glory for helping me through that first winter. And Psalm 118:28-29 reminds me, "You are my God, and I will praise you; you are my God, and I will exalt you. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever." His love does endure forever and when I get at my lowest I have this promise that He hears me, answers me, and LOVES me unconditionally. I can take my pain, heartbreak, and loneliness to Him.
I was reading a daily devotional that I have emailed to me and it talked about how Jesus will replace our actual sun in our new heaven. I remembered reading in Revelation how God will be our light. Revelation 21:23-24 NIV states, "The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is it's lamp. The nations will walk by it's light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it". Can you imagine that? The new heaven won't need the sun because God himself will be the light. We will be able to bask in His Glory, in His Light for eternity. No more depression because there is a lack of light, we will have light from God. In my NIV Life Application Study Bible 2005 pg. 2373 it tells us, "God will be the light in new Jerusalem. Light represents what is good, pure, true, holy and reliable." Wow no wonder I crave the sunshine and light. Light brings us closer to God and His Holiness.
One of the promises He gives us in Revelation is one that truly speaks to any of us that are grieving, not just widows. Revelation 21:4 NIV states, "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." I am looking forward to that day when there will not be any tears, pain or sorrow. We will be basking in the light of our God who loves me and you. He loves you even when you feel no one does. Trust this promise!!!
Lord thank you for the promises that you tell us throughout the Bible. I love reading your word, your love letter to all of your children. Lord I pray for comfort and healing for everyone that needs it in this broken world. There is so much sorrow, pain and depression in this world. Lord you know my struggles and I just pray for your comfort, light and warmth to wash over me every day. In Your Precious Name I pray, AMEN!!
