Sisterhood of Widows S.O.W. Psalm 126:5-6 Please share on your Facebook so that others can see my blogs and maybe help them through their grief.
Stars!! I love them. I love to look at them and am a big fan of the moon. One of my favorite things to do in this life is to just sit and stare up at them and marvel at their splendor. I keep up on the moon phases just so I can make sure to catch the big full moon. How awesome is our God to give us beautiful glitter in the sky?!!
The last couple of weeks the morning sky has been incredible. We have had clear skies and the stars have been bright. Now I love the stars, but do not know the actual names of the brightest ones. There is one that is very bright and it is to the east. Every morning I look forward to seeing it on the eastern horizon. The other morning I decided that I am going to name this particular star Kirk. I thought this star was very fitting for him since Kirk lit up mine and Emily's life and the lives of so many others. Emily loved the idea and agreed it is a star worthy of Kirk's name.
But before we named this star after Kirk for our own benefit, God has already counted and named all the stars in the heavens. God made the heavens and the earth, and in doing so He shared His creation with us. He also shared His most precious gift with us, His one and only Son Jesus Christ. When Jesus was born, a star directed shepherds and wise men to his place of birth in Bethlehem. Matthew 2:10-11 NIV tells us, "When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshipped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh." Can you imagine the stories that stars can tell. They have been around since the beginning of time. They directed humble and Godly men to witness the birth of our Savior.
Sometimes I sit and wonder what Kirk is doing in Heaven. I wonder if he can see the stars from his heavenly home. But I take comfort in knowing that Kirk is there waiting for all of us. I know this for a fact because I got to witness the moment he accepted Jesus into his heart. We were getting ready to leave to meet with our pastor to talk about our wedding ceremony. As we got into the car, Kirk asked me if we were trying to trick him into being saved. I told him no, which I was telling the truth since it was an actual meeting to discuss our wedding. I told Kirk that I wanted him to be saved before we were man and wife, but that I wasn't going to force him and that he would know when the time came for that most precious time. We went on to the church and started discussing our big day and all of a sudden Kirk started asking Brother Jim questions about Jesus and about accepting Jesus. Before I could even utter anything, Kirk accepted Jesus and was saved!!! I was so overjoyed, we both started crying. It is something that I hope I will never forget. Such a beautiful moment to not only witness, but to be a part of it. The day we were married, we both were children of God!!
I am honored in saying that we got to enjoy 18 years of marriage. Eighteen years sounds like a long time, but in reality it's not. I can tell you it's not long enough. But one thing I have learned in this journey is that God is in control; I am not. I have to surrender my will to God and let Him take control of the direction of my life. I have to trust that He knows what's best for me and let Him lead me where He wants me to go. I have to trust that He will heal not only me, but my daughter Emily. Psalm 147:3-5 NIV says, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit."
Even though God has numbered and named each beautiful star in the sky, one of them has the honor of being named Kirk in our house. The grief does slowly ease but that doesn't mean we do not miss you each and every day. The pain starts to subside and every day life resumes, but the hole in my heart for you will never disappear. Until the day we are reunited in Heaven, I will look up at that star each morning and I will smile. I choose to smile and cherish all of our memories than to be sad and dwell on the loss. I know one thing you are doing right now and that is smiling and rejoicing in heaven singing "Holy Holy Holy!!
Lord, thank you for giving us the stars to look upon and marvel at their beauty. Every morning I get the privilege of viewing them. Lord I pray that others that are suffering from grief to be able to find enjoyment of just looking up and seeing your incredible creation. I pray that when they look up, they find they can start a conversation with you and open up about their pain and grief. Once you start to open up and talk about your grief and pain; the healing can begin. I pray that healing can begin for ones that are calling out for Your help. He will hear your cries and will heal your brokenness. I know this because He has rescued me. I pray that you will seek His healing touch!! In His Precious Name I pray Amen!!
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