Legacy

Sisterhood of Widows S.O.W.  Psalm 126:5-6  Please share on your Facebook so that others can see my blogs and maybe help them through their grief.

Hello All!!

Hope everyone is doing well and surviving this cold and snow!!  January was a breeze compared to what has been happening the last couple of weeks.  I sure hope my entry on Valentine's Day about my candy hearts didn't jinx us!  Sorry if it did!!!

Today marks three years and eight months since Kirk's passing.  I have been praying for everyone and for myself.  It's so hard to be on this journey of grief.  I know I sure wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!! 

I've been talking to a couple of my friends and thinking a lot about the legacies that we leave behind.  I feel that once your spouse dies, we are left behind to tend to their legacies.  And how we tend to their legacies also helps to define our legacies.  I feel like my life has been split into two acts.  My first act was my life up to when I met Kirk, our time dating and marrying, and then adding to our family with Emily.  Once Kirk went to his heavenly home, my first act ended and my second act began.  In my second act, I am left to tend to Kirk's legacy and determine the direction of mine.  In thinking about my direction, I feel like I have two choices.  They are as follows.

The first direction is to totally turn away from Jesus and try to do this grief journey on my own.  This would mean putting myself and my needs first, not thinking about anyone else or how they are mourning.  I can turn to other means to "numb" the pain.  This could mean alcohol, drugs, or finding my worth in another human; meaning a man.  This direction would seem, at the time, to be a shortcut to deal with the overbearing grief.  But think about this path.  Would it honor Jesus?  Would it honor your beloved husband?  Would he or Jesus give you the green light to live like this?  Would another man so soon in your life dull the pain of your husband not being the one to hug, kiss, or love you?  I have heard a couple of horror stories of widows falling off of their path and turning completely away from Jesus and start living a life that isn't pleasing to Him or to their husband.  Living it up like a "rock star" will not get you through your grief any faster. As a matter of fact, it's going to prolong your journey.

The second direction is to lean on Jesus and let Him control your journey.  Pray and talk to Him and tell Him about your pain and distress.  He is ALWAYS there for you.  God tells us in Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV, "The Lord himself goes before you; he will never leave you or forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." How encouraging is that for you today?  Even when you think you are alone, you are not.  I know it's so hard to face this journey head on, but the only way through this is to face it head on.  An author by the name of Robert Frost has a quote and I believe what he says.  He says, "The best way out is always through."  The legacy you can leave not only for yourself but to honor you husband is to rely on Jesus and let Him bear your pain and sorrow.  Remember that others watch how we conduct ourselves and how we handle situations.  With Jesus, He will give us strength to face each day no matter how hard it gets.  He will send people that will encourage us along our path.  If you are not getting this from your family and friends, you might want to think about giving yourself a gift and finding people who will help you.  I have a wonderful network of friends and family that look out for me and help me make some decisions that are hard to make.  When we lose a spouse, we also lose our closest confidant and co-decision maker of the house.  It's hard to make decisions for the family by ourselves.  No matter how big or small the problem or situation, take it to Jesus and then wait for Him to show you.  Now your answer might not come overnight, in a day, or maybe even a week or month, but it will come!!! 

One of my favorite verses and one I have used in the past and one that you will see time again is from the book of Jeremiah.  In Jeremiah 29:11 the Lord says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Did you see what He tells us, A FUTURE!!!!  Surrendering yourself to Jesus and let Him control your future is the best direction you can choose.  I ask you that before you leap into your future to honestly sit back and think about how you want that future to look in ten or maybe fifteen years from now.  How will others see your legacy, but most important, how will Jesus see your legacy?  How will you honor your beloved husband in the decisions you will make?  I pray that you take the right direction and give it all to God!!!  He wants to help!!! Isaiah 58:9 says, "Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I." 

Lord I ask that we continue to follow you and to make decisions that are pleasing to you.  I pray that the legacy that we leave not only pleases you but also honors our husbands.  Lord please open the hearts of those that need you and they see you as the ultimate healer and comforter!!  Thank you Lord for your continual healing of my heart and soul so that I can turn and help others that are starting their grief journey.  In Your name I pray Amen!!!