Finding joy through sorrow

Finding joy in sorrow!!

 

I always tried to make Kirk’s birthday a special day for him.  He would either want grilled steak or chicken, baked potato, salad, and rolls at home or we would venture out and go to his favorite restaurant Texas Roadhouse.  I would make his favorite cake, yellow with chocolate icing, or a strawberry jello poke cake with fresh strawberries and cool whip on top.  I wanted him to have a day that made him feel special.  I remember his last birthday we went to Gander Mountain and I bought him a pair of steel toe work boots because that is what he wanted, so I made sure he was treated with the gift he desired.

Kirk suddenly passed a little over a month after his birthday.  Since then, we will go out and eat at Texas Roadhouse on his birthday just the way he would want his day to go.  Last year we were able to go to an Indy Eleven soccer game.  Our daughter Emily plays travel soccer and school ball.  This year instead of watching a professional team, Emily played in a state tournament.  The girls and family on her team are so supportive and really rally around her on the tougher moments.  They won their bracket and between the win and his birthday, we found ourselves once again at Texas Roadhouse enjoying a meal in his memory.  He would have enjoyed the day.

Now comes the part that is funny and embarrassing for me to report.  We had received a couple of sky lanterns from a neighbor friend over the winter.  So his birthday evening, we decided to write a note to him on the lantern and then light it up.  We took it outside and I held onto it while Emily lit the fuel patch.  It took us a couple of times and then finally we achieved fire.  Now you are supposed to let the lantern patch burn for a minute or so until it starts tugging and then you let it go.  I have launched a couple of these so I felt pretty good about doing this on our own.  It tugged so I let it go and it started on its journey.  All of a sudden the wind caught it before it cleared the tree line.  As we stood and watched helplessly, the lantern caught on a branch and tilted to its side.  All I could see was the fire coming from the bottom of the lantern and the leaves swaying with the breeze.  As I stood terrified that my pretty tree could go up in flames at any second, I decided to throw my shoe in hopes of dislodging it.  Well my shoe went straight up in the air, nowhere near the branch or the lantern.  Emily started to get anxious and yelled, “We need to call 911!!”  As I was getting ready to have her call, another gust of wind caught the lantern and it came down toward me.  I was able to grab it, throw it to the ground, and take my shoe and beat the fire out.  As I stood up and declared victory over the fire, Emily started laughing at me and said, “Your shoe went straight up in the air.”  I looked up and we laughed ourselves silly.  Even after ten minutes we would start to giggle about it.

A day that could have been sorrowful, we found laughter and joy.  I don’t think Kirk would have been laughing even after ten minutes.  He was mister safety conscience and to witness that scene would have put him over the edge.  Everything worked out though and no one or no tree was hurt in our attempted celebration of life and love.  We wanted to celebrate the fact that God blessed us with Kirk and to celebrate the fact that we can find joy, hope and love during a detour in our journey of life.  We decided to find joy on his birthday.   How do we find this joy and peace since Kirk went Home?  We find peace and joy through our Lord Jesus Christ.  This hope and peace comes straight from Him.  I cannot give anyone peace or hope just as no one on Earth can give it to me.  I found my strength and peace in Him.  We know in this life we will have strife, tragedy, loss, and mourning.   In John 16:33 NIV we are told, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  We know our Savior has already defeated the Cross  and death.  Jesus has overcome this world and we need to trust this every second of our day.  Just trust Jesus to carry your burdens and find joy.  I know it’s hard at first, trust me I’ve been down that road.  But day by day, week by week you will find that activities and people will start to bring you joy.  At first I dealt with guilt about moving forward and trying to find joy in things that I did before Kirk died.  Just know that your husband would want you to have joy and peace and would want you to be happy once again.  I’m going to close with a scripture from Romans 15:13 NIV, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  Please find hope and peace through Jesus Christ and I promise you joy will start to fill your heart once again.